Casino Connection Atlantic City

Take a Hike! Or A Tour

by Frank Legato

It’s July, and that means a lot more than just fireworks over the ocean, or fireworks in Trenton over the budget. (Don’t worry. I don’t think they’re going to shut us down this year.) As you’ll see by reading Michael Bruckler’s City View column, July means there are tours everywhere.

For instance, you can take a fully narrated tour in a trolley, passing the Absecon Lighthouse and the Walk and the Quarter.

I’ve got a few questions. Do they let you out to shop when you get to the Quarter or the Outlets? Or do they just talk? “We’re passing the fabulous Atlantic City Outlets now, but no window shopping. There’s nothing for you to buy there. Let’s move on.” How about the lighthouse? Can you get out of the trolley and walk up the stairs? Will the guide carry you if you get tired?

I walked all the way up the lighthouse stairs a couple of years ago. At the bottom, you’re all gung-ho and saying, “I can do this. No problem!” Then, at about Step No. 90, you start to think that it was a bad idea. Around Step No. 150, you’re cursing the day you were born. Noticing plaques with names on a few of the upper steps, you wonder whether they are commemorating people who had heart attacks on the way up. Chest heaving, you finally get to the top, Step No. 228, and then, you stop sucking air, you take your nitro glycerin pill, you look around at 171 feet in the air, and then you walk back down. Man, walking down was even hard. It was like someone stole the bones from my legs.

But I digress.

Atlantic City Trolley Tours will take you all around the city, and they don’t go up stairs. There are other tours, too. There are all the tours of Cape May, and there is the “Ride ‘N Glide Segway Tour.” You can go down to Gardner’s Basin or Ventnor and get instruction on using the Segway, and then have at it.

I used to think a Segway was how you transition from one part of a goofy column like this to another, but that’s a segue. A Segway is one of those motorized scooter doo-dads you stand on to whisk yourself around without the pesky little inconvenience of having to move your legs. For only $10, they’ll even teach you how to do it without serious bodily injury.

Of course, for the extremely frugal, you can take a tour without even loosening your death grip on that $10 bill. You can take a “Boardwalk Walking Tour” for free, by going to the Convention and Visitor’s Authority website and printing out a guide for yourself.

Then, you can explain all of the great sites and landmarks along the Boardwalk out loud to yourself as you walk. (Don’t worry. You’ll fit right in.) Maybe you can even pick up some tourists along the way, and start your own cottage industry.

If you get tired of walking on the boards, you can always go camping. Felicia Lowenstein Niven’s article will give you a taste of the incredible number of campsites available in the South Jersey region.

As you’ll see, there are campsites for every degree of camping experience. There are places you can go with an air-conditioned camper and grill steaks while you watch DVDs. There are places to pitch your state-of-the-art tent and go fishing for your dinner. There are places you can set up a lean-to, wear a loin cloth, and dine on tree bark and grubs.

(Personally, my idea of “roughing it” is no paté.)

If camping’s not your thing, you can just find out the nicest places to look at inside the casinos, which you will know intimately after reading our cover story on casino design.

Or, if all else fails, go ride a Segway.

How’s that for a segue?