If you think manners and etiquette are not relevant to your professional success, think again. According to research conducted by Harvard University, Stanford Research Institute and the Carnegie Foundation, 85 percent of the reason you get, keep and advance in a job is based on your people skills, coined “soft skills.”

The word “etiquette” may conjure up images of narrow rules of the Victorian era, debutante balls, or ladies’ tea parties, but in today’s global marketplace, proper business “etiquette” is an essential tool in building and strengthening relationships with clients, coworkers and associates.

Proper etiquette is never about being better than someone else, but making others feel better about themselves, putting others at ease. It is defined simply as respect, civility, and courtesy toward others. Just like in any sport, the boundary lines keep order in the game; behavioral boundaries keep order in society. Exercising proper business etiquette promotes a more productive and collaborative work environment that translates into increased profits.

Understanding Etiquette

In order to be world-class competitive, you must have world-class communication skills. This could include handshaking protocol, handling your business card correctly, being aware of non-offensive gestures of a different culture, or knowing which bread plate to use at the dining table.

Today, more business decisions are made at lunch or dinner than in the boardroom. Just navigating the place setting can prove to be daunting, especially when conducting business abroad, where relationships are commonly forged over a meal. The way you handle a napkin could make or break a deal.

Going out to lunch or dinner has become the norm as part of the interviewing process for companies large and small. Henry Ford took potential job candidates out to dinner to observe their table manners. If they salted the food before tasting it, they were eliminated from consideration, because it is an insult to the chef to season the food with salt before tasting it. At this level, mother is not there to remind us to keep our elbows off the table.

Interoffice etiquette or civility in the workplace has a direct effect on employee morale, productivity, and retention. The offensive habits of most coworkers are not usually intentional, and those people are probably clueless to their annoying behavior. Using a speakerphone forces surrounding cubicle-dwellers to listen to a conversation they probably prefer not to hear. A speakerphone should be utilized only for conference calls. Perfume or cologne should be used sparingly or not at all in the office environment. This shows consideration for those who do not share the same taste in fragrance, or may have an allergic response.

Remembering to have an attitude of gratitude, and saying a simple please and thank you, encourages a more civil office environment. Giovinella Gonthier, author of Rude Awakenings: Overcoming the Civility Crisis in the Workplace, says, “Civility is being mindful of the dignity of the human being in your sphere at all times.”

Healthy Handshake

In the business arena, the only acceptable physical contact is a handshake. The handshake reveals a great deal about an individual —your personality, feelings, and motivations. Your handshake conveys your attitude toward others. A bone-crushing handshake communicates aggression or dominance. A limp handshake communicates a lack of assertiveness and confidence.

According to a study done by the University of Alabama and published in an issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, a weak handshake signals negative personality traits such as shyness and emotional instability. Making a positive, lasting first impression requires a direct, self-assured handshake.

It is estimated less than 30 percent of U.S. businessmen and women sent abroad to do business in another country actually succeed. International protocol awareness and education is crucial to thriving in the global marketplace, whether business is conducted with those from other cultures here or abroad. Taking the time and making the effort to understand the behavioral differences of other cultures will ultimately give you a competitive edge.

Building a trusted relationship before the business exchange is an utmost priority to many different cultures. To American businesspersons, the relationship is secondary—time is money.

The way we package ourselves in business can help or hinder our climb up the ladder of success. “Casual Fridays” have turned into casual fashion confusion. Unfortunately, we have a couple of generations taking queues from the entertainment industry, where sex sells. Sexy clothes can sabotage a woman’s career ambitions and compromise her credibility.

Be aware of the corporate culture where you are employed whether it is a creative, edgy or conservative industry. Take into consideration the geographical region, such as the more traditionally conservative Northeast versus the more casual, relaxed West Coast. Taking your wardrobe queues off the person who is responsible for your next promotion will keep you on track.

The Golden Rule

According to psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter, we teach people how to treat us. Others look to us to tell them how they should feel about us, and they respond in kind subconsciously to the message we communicate. If we seem to care little about our professional upkeep, it is an indication we are insecure about ourselves.

With every technological advance—whether it is email, cell phones or Blackberries—comes new etiquette challenges. We do not have traditional rules from which to draw, but we do have common sense.

When writing to company executives or clients, your emails should reflect the same professional tone as if you were sending correspondence on company letterhead. If you are one who has an addiction to your Blackberry, needing a fix every few minutes, it may be wise to leave it elsewhere when attending a meeting with clients or coworkers. Who could imagine 20 years ago our telephones would now be attached not only to our hips, but to our ears? Thanks to technology such as BlueTooth, a person walking down the street talking to himself isn’t so peculiar anymore.

In today’s competitive marketplace, where products and services are similar, etiquette and protocol skills distinguish one professional from another, one company from another. These skills are tools that equip today’s successful professional with the ability to handle the challenges of today’s business arena with confidence and authority. Polish and refinement result in profits and advancement. Debra Gitto is the executive director of the Northeastern School of Etiquette and Protocol in Ventnor City, New Jersey. For more information, call 609-822-8164 or visit the website at www.etiquetteinfo.com.

TEST YOUR ETIQUETTE INTELLIGENCE QUIZ

1. In a business introduction, the person who extends their hand to shake hands first has a distinct advantage; gender does not play a role. T F

2. You are introduced to the mayor of New York City. The correct response would be, "Mr. Mayor, it is a pleasure meeting you." T F

3. You should wait for a senior executive to offer his or her card. T F

4. Always wear a name badge on the left shoulder area. T F

5. You are meeting with a scheduled appointment over coffee:

A. You turn your cell phone off and let voicemail take messages.

B. Your luncheon appointment takes precedence over cell phone calls.

C. All of the above.

6. You accidentally drop your fork on the floor while dining at a business luncheon:

A. You pick it up and ask the wait staff for a replacement.

B. You leave it on the floor and ask the wait staff for a replacement.

C. You pick it up, wipe it with your napkin and use it anyway.

7. When you are finished eating, your napkin should be folded loosely and:

A. Placed on the left side of the plate.

B. Placed on the right side of the plate.

C. Placed on the center of the plate.

8. You are picking up a Japanese client by chauffeured car. The seat of honor is:

A. The seat furthest from the driver, behind the passenger side.

B. The front passenger seat.

C. The seat behind the driver.

Answers:

1. True. (Gender does not play a role in the business arena. The person who initiates a handshake is being direct and subconsciously establishing control over the exchange. A cutting edge plus in the business arena.)

2. False (The correct form of address for the office of mayor is “Mayor” or “Mayor Bloomberg” with the surname included.)

3. True. (Junior executives don't give or request cards from senior executives. Let the senior executive request your card, and only then should you present it.)

4. False. (The name badge is worn on the right shoulder area in the line of sight of the person who is shaking your hand. This assists the person in remembering your name.)

5.C,

6.B,

7.A,

8.C.

By Debra Gitto

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